Stop and Return

"As above, so too below"

It's retrograde season - when many planets turn retrograde - which is technically the appearance of a planet slowing down to a stop, and then moving backwards. Symbolically a retrograde can be seen as a returning to, or a revisiting of something.

The other day I returned to the complete mess of emotions that was the year 2013. I didn’t intend to. I was looking through an old journal and fell into the whole year in review. Back then it seemed as if things were moving rapidly away from all the last moments. I couldn’t understand how he wasn’t with me anymore. Nothing seemed real because he wasn’t a part of it. I had lost my way to process life because I use to relate everything to him, through him. I longed for him to come back. There was this intense need to hit the pause button and try to find a way to go back.

Everything needs to stop.

Stop time, stop change,

Stop them growing,

Stop, so I can get you

Stop, so you can catch up

Stop, so you can change your mind

Stop, so I can say something

Stop and take me with you

Stop, so we can be in a moment

that will stop us together.

Please, just stop.

Whether it's a broader view, or the grace that only time can give, the relevance of returning to the past can be the opportunity to see things in a new way. As much as I wanted it to, nothing stopped. For even in death, as in life, nothing stops. It transforms.